To whom it may concern:

I met Tom just over a year ago when I was at my wits’ end and unable to find solutions on how to handle my eighteen-year-old son. We had tried psychology therapy and executive functioning coaches but we were at a transition point with him starting to live independently away from home at university and they were not addressing my problems: a defiant, immature ADHD teen thousands of miles away who could not handle himself academically or in his daily life and who refused to engage either with me or anyone else because, of course, he knew what he was doing.  In the meantime, I could see the thin ice under his feet beginning to crack.

Then I came across Tom’s profile. Something told me that his skill set was exactly what I needed: someone who had experienced the challenges of growing through adolescence with ADHD and knew first-hand about the struggles, the falls and the rises, the moments of truth and reckoning, and above all, someone who could speak his language, because it was clear that we were speaking in a foreign language to each other and we did not even have a dictionary. Tom told me in my first meeting that if I could convince my son to meet up with him, he would guarantee me that he would agree to continue.  That was Tom’s first achievement.  More followed. To this day, I do not know what kind of magic he works with my son, but he immediately became engaged with his sessions and agreed to continue.  Based on what I have seen, though, I can have a pretty educated guess.

Tom has a deep and unique understanding of the train of thought of the minds of young boys with ADHD.  He can not only understand the executive function shortcomings, time blindness, emotional regulation difficulties and lack of impulse control that characterize the ADHD mind.  He has actually experienced all this and he is able to relate and reason with them in a way that makes sense to their developing minds and that they can identify with. He can speak their language using their logic; that is Tom’s ‘magic wand’. My son has been listening to him because Tom puts systems that work with an ADHD brain rather than against it and because he can relate to him. Tom explains to him why he is experiencing these difficulties and how to leverage his strengths to his advantage or avoid their pitfalls.  Whether it is discussing how food or exercise can help or hinder dopamine creation or persuading him not to take risky behaviours, the result has been a tangible improvement in habits that were drawing him down. He manages to leverage the power of the ADHD hyperfocus to get the results that we seek. Where we previously had arguments, confrontation and refusal, I can now count on Tom to hang out and talk to him and get a result or a step in the right direction.

His second gift is related to parent coaching and how he can relay the teen ADHD logic to the adults in a way that we also can understand.  Tom is a perceptive listener. He asks questions and can then explain how my son is processing his experiences and world through the ADHD lens in a way that my son has been unable to articulate.  As a parent, this is an invaluable resource, as he has provided insights into my son’s logic and this has saved me from jumping to the wrong conclusions or taking actions that I would have probably regretted or would have resulted in a further deterioration of an already fragile relationship. I have also been inspired to read and inform myself on ADHD and this has enriched my own understanding of the condition.  Tom works with parents as a team, listens to concerns and observations and then prepares for the session to make the ‘magic’ happen. I have also been able to use him as a sounding board to seek his advice on how to introduce changes and get my son on board. He is flexible to adapt when things are not working, non-judgemental and respectful of views, even when we disagree.  The fact that he is also available on WhatsApp at short notice when I need a quick insight on the spot has been invaluable to diffuse some tense moments.  He is generous with this time and does not cut you short on the dot because your time is up if the situation requires it and this is because he takes a genuine interest in you as a person, not as a business. 

Tom has had an enormous positive impact on our life and I can recommend him without hesitation.  Our relationship with our son has improved, it is now more trusting and our son is making tangible changes in his choices and behaviour.  I am aware we still have a long road ahead, but I am convinced that without Tom’s skillful hand and insights, the road would have been impossible to travel.  His ‘magic’ continues to have an effect and my son looks forward to his meetings.  I am forever grateful for his help as it has greatly reduced the family stress and anxiety. My feelings of desperation and hopelessness have now been replaced by hope for the possibilities that lie ahead. I will forever be grateful to Tom for making this happen.  Should you have any further questions, I would be delighted to discuss.

Ana Parrondo